Gestational carrier provides milk for babies born via surrogacy

Erin Graham suffered six bouts of mastitis and a subsequent antibiotic allergy while breastfeeding her firstborn. Moreover, when her daughter was just five weeks old, Graham required emergency surgery for gallstones she’d developed. The care team reported that she would need to pump and dump her milk on account of the anesthesia, but Graham made a point to connect with a lactation care provider who dispelled this misinformation.

Photo courtesy of Erin Graham

Despite it all, Graham persevered and went on to breastfeed her daughter for a year.

When her son came along, breastfeeding proved much easier.

“Breastfeeding my son was a piece of cake,” she recalls.

Becoming a mother was the most transformative and defining experience of her life, Graham goes on to say. So, when she witnessed friends and family members struggling to create and grow their own families, she felt especially touched and inspired. That’s when she applied to become a gestational carrier (surrogate). Graham has given birth to three babies as a gestational carrier since then and has pumped milk after each pregnancy.

The decision to pump milk for her surrogate babies started with a simple conversation early on in the surrogacy process, during match meetings where prospective surrogates and intended parents connect. Graham says there was never any pressure from any parties.

“It was all just gratitude and positivity,” she remembers. The first intended mother she worked with would even make her snacks to help keep her energy up while pumping around the clock.

During her first two experiences, the families were local, so they would coordinate meet ups to drop off the milk. She and her family became quite close to both of the families, so she found herself sometimes pumping at their houses during get togethers.

After her final surrogacy, Graham and the family coordinated shipping through FedEx, and while Graham says she’s  heard horror stories of lost and thawed milk upon arrival, she never experienced any of these misfortunes.

When one of the families decided that they no longer needed Graham’s milk, she was connected to another family whose surrogate was unable to provide milk. Graham wasn’t ready to wean, so she provided milk for this infant instead. It’s one of her favorite infant feeding stories.

Graham shares how her experiences breastfeeding and pumping were so different. While breastfeeding, Graham says she never thought about how many ounces of milk she produced; instead, she focused on her babies’ cues. While pumping, she didn’t have the babies’ cues to prompt her, so she’d rely on an alarm and found that she became quite focused on her output. Pumping also required her to hone in on her organizational skills, making sure the freezer bags laid just right so that she could store and package them most efficiently.

Graham has remained deeply connected to the infertility and surrogacy space and has worked for a surrogacy agency and fertility marketplace where she helped both intended parents and surrogates find the agencies and clinics that fit their particular needs and desires.

In order to best serve her clients, Graham recently completed the Lactation Counselor Training Course (LCTC).

Having had the vastly different experiences of directly breastfeeding her own babies and pumping milk for her surrogate babies, now coupled with the LCTC training, Graham offers a unique perspective to her clients.

Graham has been featured in a GoStork Q&A where she offers more of her experience as a surrogate and fertility care advisor. You can find that here.

To know is to do: retired nurse dedicates time to humanitarian aid in East Africa bringing awareness to the paradox of direness and vibrancy

Some days Susan Gold, RN, BSN, ACRN misses her ignorance. Since 2003, Gold has embarked on over 30 trips to various locations in East Africa where she teaches sexual and reproductive health and offers humanitarian aid.

Recalling one of her first visits to a clinic in Nairobi, Kenya, Gold describes a young mother, around 18-years-old, who arrived holding her severely malnourished infant against her breasts infected with such severe mastitis that her skin had split. This mother had been thrown out of her home for being HIV-positive and was breastfeeding and formula feeding her baby.

[Some background: Infant feeding has been complicated by the HIV epidemic. In the early 2000s, Gold explains that HIV-positive women were taught to formula feed to lower the risk of transmission to their babies, but with little to no access to clean water, babies were becoming severely ill. What’s more, in societies where breastfeeding is the norm, exclusive formula feeding is often an indication of one’s HIV status, which remains highly stigmatized. And formula is expensive, so many mothers choose mixed feeding, increasing the rate of HIV transmission, because formula irritates the GI system and gives the virus a pathway. By 2010, WHO issued new recommendations that stated that all mothers who tested positive should receive effective antiretroviral treatment (ART) which could lower risk of transmission during exclusive breastfeeding to virtually zero. In 2016, WHO extended the recommended duration of breastfeeding for HIV-positive mothers to 24 months. Effectiveness is dependent on consistency though, and Gold explains that mothers can develop resistance because there isn’t always access to ART.]

Gold was able to give the mother antibiotics, but the care that she and her infant required was beyond what Gold could offer. Considering the dyad’s condition and Gold’s limited resources, she says she’s certain that they died.

Reflecting on the suffering she witnessed and lives lost, that’s when Gold misses her ignorance most, but she says, “To know is to do.”

“For me it’s not a news story I can ignore, it’s names and faces,” she remarks.

In 2007, Gold received a Fulbright Grant to evaluate a reproductive health curriculum for HIV-positive adolescents. In 2017, she was awarded a Mandela Washington Fellowship Reciprocal Exchange Award to collaborate with Sicily Mburu, a Kenyan physician who co-founded AIDS No More. [Read more: https://ghi.wisc.edu/talking-health-out-loud-how-volunteering-led-to-life-saving-strategies-for-teens/]

Most recently, Gold spent several weeks in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania on a Nelson Mandela Fellowship Reciprocal Exchange Fellowship Grant where she partnered with Dr. Omari Mahiza, a pediatrician at Amana Regional Referral Hospital, focusing their efforts on combating pediatric malnutrition and education on family planning.

 

Shattering stereotypes 

Gold has found that most Americans hold a “shallow view” of the continent. Her frustration with the stereotypes associated with Africa runs deep.

“It’s either starving children or a safari,” she begins. “It’s so painful for me to see that displayed so many times. There is such a tendency [in America] to dehumanize people who are not like us… We set ourselves as the standard. Their culture is not a failed attempt to be our culture. Success doesn’t have to look like us or be measured against us.”

Alongside her humanitarian work, Gold hopes to shatter the stereotypes, to bring awareness to the paradox of direness and vibrancy in East Africa.

Gold reminisces: “I love the African sun on my face, the bright colors and motion, the culture that is built around the family and friends, that you’re never expected to do it alone, the  generosity of spirit,  the sounds and smells, the warm welcomes and the optimism.”

Acutely aware of “an inherent imbalance of power” and the concept of White Saviorism, Gold uses the Swahili term Tuko sawa, which means “We are all the same”, as the foundation of her work.

We all want healthy children and families and a future with opportunities to provide long, healthy, prosperous lives, she expounds.

Beyond this core belief, Gold says that she always develops relationships with the people she works with.

“I educate myself on the origins and current status of their culture. I don’t tell people what to do, I share my experiences and expertise. I always learn from them.”

 

Doing more with less 

Ingenuity is something she’s gathered from working alongside East Africans.

For instance, Gold was struck by the engineering of incubators for very sick babies at  St. Joseph’s Hospital in Moshi, Tanzania.

If there is electricity, she explains, the heat is controlled by the number of light bulbs lit. The wood absorbs the heat, the aluminum components absorb and reflect heat, the mattress absorbs heat but also protects the baby, and the lid retains the heat but allows for monitoring of the baby. Mosquito netting is fashioned around the system.

Gold notes that Kangaroo Mother Care (KMC) is practiced for almost all premature babies, but it’s not common among sick babies. [Read about skin-to-skin efforts just north of Tanzania here:  https://www.ourmilkyway.org/skin-skin-gulu-uganda/]

 

Hunger: hidden and stark 

A recent Lancet Global Health Publication, Revealing the prevalence of “hidden hunger”, released estimates of two billion people worldwide with one or more micronutrient deficiencies, noting that this is a gross underestimate. The hunger and deficiencies that Gold and her colleagues witness are rarely hidden and often quite obvious.

A severely malnourished child holds onto one of the toy cars that Gold collects and brings for the children at the clinics.

Breastfeeding is important in the prevention of different forms of childhood malnutrition, including wasting, stunting, over/underweight and micronutrient deficiencies. Tanzania scores quite high in the World Breastfeeding Trends Initiative (WBTi) World Ranking.

Gold observes that all of the women breastfeed in the low-income neighborhoods she visits.

The struggle, she says, is getting enough nutrition for the women to sustain milk production and have energy to feed their babies. During her most recent visit, Gold reports that almost none of the 35 families had food in the home.

Reporters of the new estimates for micronutrient malnutrition point out that processed fortified foods and micronutrient powders can be an easy answer to hunger, but they don’t create sustainability of local and indigenous foods and create conflict of interest issues with industry.

Gold adds that low income community members can’t afford to buy industry developed foods consistently. Lack of access to clean water is also a barrier.

“And you can’t depend on outside groups to sustain you,” she continues.

“We didn’t see any processed food at all because there is no market for it,” Gold says of visiting seven different neighborhoods in the low income region of Dar es Salaam. Instead, small markets with locally-grown fruits and vegetables prevail, but access to protein is a challenge.

As medically indicated, ready-to-use therapeutic food (RUTF) packets of fortified peanut butter issued by UNICEF are given out through health clinics. But Gold notes that sometimes parents sell these packets for money.

 

A challenge but not insurmountable 

North of Dar es Salaam, in Moshi, Gold brings a portable printer that doesn’t require Wifi to the small hospital where she volunteers. She gifts each postpartum mother a printed 4×6 photo of herself and her baby.

“You don’t know how many of these babies are going to survive due to the high infant mortality rate.”

There’s a long moment of silence between us on the video call.

Then Gold expresses her frustration and anger,  “The world can fix this, but chooses not to.”

She urges us to educate ourselves and others. Vote for people who have a vision of the world as one world, she says.

Last month, the President signed into law H.R. 4693, the “Global Malnutrition Prevention and Treatment Act of 2021,” which authorizes the United States Agency for International Development to undertake efforts to prevent and treat malnutrition globally.

For those interested in making financial contributions or donations like baby clothes, children’s  books, or toy cars, email Gold at talkinghealthoutloud@gmail.com.

Follow Gold’s organization Talking Health Out Loud on Facebook here.

For an interesting discussion on Numeracy Bias, check out this episode of Hidden Brain. Numeracy bias is described this way: “…When you see one person suffering, you feel like, ‘Oh, I can do something for that person.’ But when you hear that a whole country has a refugee crisis, you tend not to get involved because you feel like, ‘Well, this is overwhelming. I don’t think I can do anything about this, so I’m not going to engage.’…It turns out that people who have experienced a high level of lifetime adversity are immune to this bias.”

 

Other resources

Micronutrient Deficiencies

UNICEF Child Food Poverty

UNICEF No Time to Waste

UNICEF Fed to Fail