Responding vs Ignoring: A look at the infant “cry it out” approach.
January, 2026
Donna Walls, RN, BSN, CLC, ANLC
During pregnancy new parents learn a lot about the tasks of infant care. Much attention is given to bathing and feeding of new babies but not nearly enough about newborn sleep. New parents are frequently not really prepared for the dramatic changes in their sleep and how to cope with these changes. Sleep deprived new parent receive so much advice that can be confusing and even the “experts” often have very different messages. Is it ok to just let newborns and babies “cry it out”- crying until they are exhausted enough to sleep? We need to really think about whether these exhausted newborns are quietly sleeping or shutting down, moved into a state of despair- giving up when their needs are not met? More than 700 Danish psychologists signed a unified statement urging immediate discontinuation of the practice of “crying it out”. They emphasized that prolonged crying without comfort elevates cortisol and affects how the infant brain forms emotional and stress regulation pathways. This national push reflects growing scientific awareness of early neural sensitivity.
Proponents of the crying it out approach claim that this will allow the infant to learn how to self soothe, a term coined in the 1970’s, and therefore be able to calm themselves in stressful situations as they mature. Some claim that crying is good for babies, that it “exercises” their lungs. Others suggest that it might result in less stress for parents and siblings and even improve sleep for the entire family. And, a study by Michael Gradisar, Associate Professor of Psychology at Flinders University in Adelaide, Australia concluded that this method is safe for babies in the short term and long term.
In Bilgin and Wolke’s recent article they added new fuel for this debate. In their study, the authors collected information on maternal use of ‘cry it out’ from 178 mothers at term, 3, 6, and 18 months. The authors’ analyses showed no negative association between leaving infants to cry it out and infant–mother attachment at 18 months. This conclusion received much attention in the media.
But……… what does the majority of research show?
There are some well documented concerns about sleep training programs and the “crying it out” approach.
As breastfeeding advocates, this issue is one we hear about frequently- nighttime feedings and nighttime sleeping. How can we help them to manage waking and feeding through the night?
First, what does an infant cry mean? We do know that crying is the infant’s only means of getting our attention, their way of communicating a need. Anyone that has lived through the first weeks and months of a newborn know 2 things:
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- A crying infant can be unsettling, we instinctively want to soothe a crying infant
- Being able to soothe a crying baby feels good, it is satisfying to see a crying baby quiet and become calm
In rat studies looking at low or high nurturing mother rats it was discovered that in the first critical 10 days of life the genes that modulate anxiety are affected and this can last a life time. Offspring of low nurturing mother rats have stress modulating genes that never get “turned on” and these rats show signs of stress in new situations for the rest of its life. Researchers also found hundreds of these genes in human brains. It is important to recognize that nurturing caregiving behaviors affect future ability to deal with stress and anxiety. Leaving an infant to “cry it out” is definitely in the low nurturing category and it can only be concluded that this technique can result in inability to modulate stress in the future.(Meany et al, 2001) How the adult brain reacts to stress is a result of these early influences, meaning adults who were stressed as babies can have ineffective stress responses later in life, and demonstrate social anxieties.
Responding to an infant’s cry with nurturing behaviors, generally recognized as touch, soothing sounds or slow movements, has also been shown to positively affect growth hormone, nerve development and DNA synthesis. Numerous studies have demonstrated that lack of nurturing touch in the early weeks and months can result in physical and emotional developmental delays, reduced hormonal responses, impairment in brain development and even failure to thrive. Distressed infants also have higher levels of cortisol, the stress hormone which also has been shown to negatively affect the growth of nerve cells.
Many proponents of the “cry it out” method believe that this will encourage infants to become independent and secure while most psychologists and behaviorists believe that leaving basic needs unmet have just the opposite effect. Instead of fostering independence it leaves newborns feeling insecure and unsure that they will receive the basic care they need to survive. Some believe that this method can in fact damage the attachment between mother and/or father and child. Many mothers report feeling distressed when they try the “cry it out” technique- probably because we are programmed to respond to our infant’s needs and going against that instinct is not comfortable.
In Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs our first developmental stage is Trust vs Mistrust. If needs are met we see the world as a good place where we are cared for and loved. If needs are not met, such as when infants are left alone to “cry it out”, we learn that we cannot trust those around us or in the larger world.
Before the advent of car seats, strollers, bouncy seats and swings our ancestors held and carried their infants and were able to quickly respond to their infants’ calls for attention. In many cultures even today baby wearing is the norm and it has been noted by westerners visiting that culture how seldom infant cries are heard. Maybe some research or possibly some soul searching should be done to answer the question “Should I let my baby cry it out”?
As caregivers and advocates for new parents it is our job is to help and support their feeding choices and provide information and education while they navigate these first critical months of parenthood.
References and Resources
Michael Gradisar, Kate Jackson, Nicola J. Spurrier, Joyce Gibson, Justine Whitham, Anne Sved Williams, Robyn Dolby, David J. Kennaway: “Behavioral Interventions for Infant Sleep Problems: A Randomized Controlled Trial”, Pediatrics, May 2016 (http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/early/2016/05/21/peds.2015-1486)
Abi M. B. Davis, Robin S. S. Kramer. 2021. Commentary: Does ‘cry it out’ really have no adverse effects on attachment? Reflections on Bilgin and Wolke https://doi.org/10.1111/jcpp.13390Digital Object Identifier (DOI). Read the full article at doi: 10.1111/jcpp.13223
Bilgin A, Wolke D.J. Parental use of ‘cry it out’ in infants: no adverse effects on attachment and behavioural development at 18 months. Child Psychol Psychiatry. 2020 Nov;61(11):1184-1193. doi: 10.1111/jcpp.13223. Epub 2020 Mar 10.PMID: 32155677
Thomas, R.M., Hotsenpiller,G. & Peterson, D.A. (2007).Acute Psychosocial Stress Reduces Cell Survival in Adult Hippocampal Neurogenesis without Altering Proliferation. The Journal of Neuroscience, 27(11): 2734-2743.
Hewlett, B., & Lamb, M. (2005). Hunter-gatherer childhoods. New York: Aldine.
Meaney, M.J. (2001). Maternal care, gene expression, and the transmission of individual differences in stress reactivity across generations. Annual Review of Neuroscience, 24, 1161-1192.
http://www.kathleenkendall-tackett.com/kendall-tackett_sleep_disturbances.pdf
Bilgin, A., & Wolke, D. (2020a). Parental use of ‘cry it out’ in infants: No adverse effects on attachment and behavioural development at 18 months. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 61, 1184–1193.
Narvaez, D.F. (2011). Dangers of “Crying It Out”. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/moral-landscapes/201112/dangers-crying-it-out
Van Ijzendoorn, M.H., & Hubbard, F.O.A. (2000). Are infant crying and maternal responsiveness during the first year related to infant-mother attachment at 15 months? Attachment & Human Development, 2, 371–391.