Breastfeeding is collaborative.

–This post is part of our 10-year anniversary series “Breastfeeding is…”

Breastfeeding is collaborative.

A breastfeeding dyad is a beautiful, fascinating, complex organism. Mother and bab(ies) attend and respond to one another facilitating nourishment, the flow of hormones, immunity, learning and bonding, comfort, fun, an all-encompassing sensory experience that has generational impacts on social, emotional and physical health.

Photo by Luiza Braun

In this intimate depiction of a breastfeeding dyad, a world of collaborative intricacies occur: the undulation of baby’s tongue to help with milk removal, the contraction of myoepithelial cells thanks to oxytocin elicited by baby, the removal of milk to signal mother’s body to produce more, to name a few.

It’s clear that breastfeeding is so much more than “the healthiest feeding choice” nutritionally speaking. Take the following anecdotes for example.

Nikki Lee offers her commentary to this case report on infant botulism in an exclusively breastfed baby explaining how interactive feeding can save a baby’s life.

https://unsplash.com/@luizabraun

“One doesn’t have to ingest honey to contract botulism. Exclusively breastfed babies can get botulism. Some parts of the continental US have c.botulinum in the soil; construction stirs up the soil, and the germ floats in the air. The breastfeeding mother is the one to notice that the baby’s suck isn’t as strong. This is a reason that breastfed babies survive botulism, because they get diagnosed and treated sooner than bottle-fed babies.”

In this case, breastfeeding offered early detection of breast cancer in the mother because of her baby’s refusal to nurse from one side. This phenomenon is known as Goldsmith’s Sign.

To demonstrate the importance of  the relationship that breastfeeding affords, we might consider the implications of separation. Lee again offers insight on the implications of mother baby separation in this piece.

Zooming out to view breastfeeding less individualistically and instead as a global food security system, we must recognize the collaboration necessary to support the breastfeeding dyad and abandon the idea that breastfeeding is a solitary act, a “one-woman job”.

https://unsplash.com/@luizabraun

In Breastfeeding as a ‘Resilient’ Food Security System: Celebrating…. And Problematizing Women’s Resilience in the face of chronic deprivation as well as emergencies, Dr. Vandana Prasad, MBBS, MRCP (Ped) UK, MPH describes breastfeeding as “wholly community-based”. Dr. Prasad continues that breastfeeding is potentially universally accessible and sustainable because it  “depends wholly upon the status of time, energy, health, nutrition and general availability of women”. This achievement, breastfeeding as definitely universally accessible and sustainable,  would require collaborative efforts by “governments, decision-makers, development partners, professional bodies, academia, media, advocates, and other stakeholders” working together, as Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus writes.

In the U.S., WIC has created an interactive resource “to help reinforce the important role that family and friends play in supporting breastfeeding moms.” The resource invites WIC staff to “click through the prompts with parents, grandparents, and others discussing when and how to offer helpful support so that mom and baby continue to thrive.”

At an organizational level, the United States Breastfeeding Committee (USBC) uses a collective impact approach to manage multi-sectoral collaborations, working to protect, promote, and support breastfeeding and human milk feeding.

Source: United States Breastfeeding Committee.

Internationally, the Global Breastfeeding Collective calls on donors, policy makers and civil society to increase investment in breastfeeding worldwide.

——–

As part of our celebration, we are giving away an online learning module with contact hours each week. Here’s how to enter into the drawings:

Email info@ourmilkyway.org with your name and “OMW is 10” in the subject line.

This week, in the body of the email, tell us: Who is your s/hero in the field of maternal child health?

Subsequent weeks will have a different prompt in the blog post.

We will conduct a new drawing each week over the 10-week period.  Please email separately each week to be entered in the drawing. You may only win once. If your name is drawn, we will email a link with access to the learning module. The winner of the final week will score a grand finale swag bag.

‘Our Milky Way’ is 10

It has been 10 years since we authored our first blog post here on Our Milky Way. Ten. Years. This milestone is accompanied by a myriad of emotions!

I’m so proud of our collection of publications, promoting fantastic work by fantastic people.

I am stunned by the elusiveness of time; I first took the Lactation Counselor Training Course (LCTC)– which propelled me into this work– when my first child was only a few months old and now she is 11.

I am deeply grateful for everything I’ve learned from our participants and my colleagues and mentors who have shaped this blog. It’s such a thrill to connect with people across the continent and across the oceans, and I consider it such a privilege to have spent time with all of the beautiful minds featured on this blog.

I am both discouraged and encouraged. Scrolling through a decade’s worth of stories leaves me inspired by maternal child health advocates’ tireless work and triumphs both big and small. Lactation spaces have been carved out and employers have adopted breastfeeding-friendly policies, breastfeeding murals have been painted, generous human milk donations have been made, babies have gone skin-to-skin in the operating room, World Breastfeeding Weeks have been celebrated, important research has been conducted and published, and the accomplishments go on and on!

I’m also disheartened by the darker spaces where negative forces are at play like conflict among care providers, our culture’s disconnect between birth and breastfeeding, systemic racism, no paid parental leave, and the pervasive industry influence in infant feeding and beyond. These, among other forces, leave the United States consistently dangling near the bottom of the WBTi World Ranking list.

Despite our country’s poor performance in supporting healthy beginnings, I still find myself with a sense of wonder and cautious optimism for what the next decade holds for familial, community and global health.

In celebration of Our Milky Way’s 10th birthday, we’re launching a series called “Breastfeeding is…” For ten weeks, we will revisit a topic that describes breastfeeding. This series was inspired specifically by our 2013 piece Breastfeeding is… where Healthy Children Project faculty emeritus Barbara O’Connor, RN, BSN, IBCLC, ANLC discusses what breastfeeding can be and the cultural forces at odds with positive health outcomes.

Join us in celebrating and honoring healthy infant feeding by sharing what breastfeeding means to you. You can post in the comments below, find us on social media @centerforbreastfeeding, or email us at info@ourmilky.org.

What’s more, I am so pleased to announce that we will be giving away an online learning module with contact hours each week of our 10 week celebration. Here’s how to enter into the drawings:

Email info@ourmilkyway.org with your name and “OMW is 10” in the subject line.

This week, in the body of the email, tell us what breastfeeding means to you. Subsequent weeks will have a different prompt in the blog post.

We will conduct a new drawing each week over the 10-week period.  Please email separately each week to be entered in the drawing. You may only win once. If your name is drawn, we will email a link with access to the learning module. The winner of the final week will score a grand finale swag bag.

Enhancing national network of nonprofit donor milk banks and diversifying nation’s production of infant formula to secure infant nutrition in U.S.

The Infant Feeding Action Coalition USA, Inc. (IN.FACT.USA) has put together a piece detailing the global recall of contaminated Abbott powdered formulas.

In February 2022, the largest U.S. infant formula manufacturer recalled three brands of its powdered formula and one breastmilk fortifier and shut down its main manufacturing facility in Sturgis, Michigan following reports of Cronobacter infections in infants who had consumed formula manufactured at the Sturgis plant. It’s noteworthy that the initial recalls were voluntary–not required by the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA)— and they only came after nine babies died between September 2021 and January 2022 from infections.

Let’s focus on that, the death of these babies, Tameka L. Jackson-Dyer, BASc, IBCLC, CHW  urges in her Great Lakes Breastfeeding webinar Feed the Baby: Lactation, Contamination, and the American Formula Crisis.

One infant death is one too many. Initially, two deaths were reported; however, Freedom of Information requests and whistleblower action revealed that not only two, but another seven infants in the U.S. were reported to have died after consuming powdered infant formula manufactured at the Abbott factory.

“During the same period, 25 severe infections categorized as ‘Life Threatening Illness/Injury’ and 80 instances of ‘Non-Life Threatening Illness/Injury’ were reported among infants who were fed these formulas,” The Abbott Powdered Formula Scandal also points out.

“Until Cronobacter infections require mandatory notification, the number of cases of illness or deaths will never be known. Neither will their extent in the 37 countries which imported the potentially contaminated Abbott formula.”

In The Four Pillars of Infant Nutrition Security in the United States, author Amelia Psmythe Seger points out that  “The U.S. has not regulated the marketing practices of the commercial milk formula industry, unlike 70% of the world, which has implemented at least some part of the WHO’s International Code of Marketing of Breast-Milk Substitutes. In the absence of regulation, these marketing practices are predatory.”

Psmythe Seger goes on to urge, “Diversify the nation’s production of infant formula. Plainly it is a mistake to allow 42% of the infant formula in this country to be produced not only by one company but by one factory of that company. Infant formula companies are part of an infant food security system, but we don’t have to be so dependent on that industry.”

[For more on commercial influence, you can watch USBC’s series of Unpacking Commercial Milk Formula Marketing Webinar Recordings]

A history of breastmilk substitutes laid out by Jackson-Dyer reminds us that before the advent of commercial infant formulas,  wet nursing was the original supplemental feeding.

Considering the infant feeding landscape today, Jackson-Dyer quotes Michigan Breastfeeding Network Executive Director Shannon McKenney Shubert, MPH, CLC: “In my 12-year career in the field of human milk feeding, I have never once met a birthing parent who ‘chose not to breastfeed.’ In this country, whether to breastfeed is not a choice. In this country, whether to breastfeed is a question of ‘Within all the systems of oppression that I navigate, what is the best combination of things I can do to ensure the survival of my baby, myself and the rest of my family?’”

With this context in mind, Jackson-Dyer confronts the idea that yes, babies must be fed, but fed is not best; instead, it is required, she says in her webinar.

“It is the absolute minimum to sustain life,” she reminds us. “We can’t just feed the baby anything.”

Again in The Four Pillars of Infant Nutrition Security in the United States, Psmythe Seger shines light on nonprofit donor milk banks which provide pasteurized donor human milk for human babies, “the next best thing to mom.” 

“Enhance the national network of nonprofit donor milk banks,”  Psmythe Seger writes. “Support innovative partnerships across existing structures, taking a cue from a national model such as what exists in Brazil. Consider: Red Cross has the infrastructure to support donor screening; WIC offices or community health clinics could be donor drop-off sites; more hospitals could provide space and equipment for donor milk processing and distribution, as some have done. Models exist to create an affordable and plentiful alternative to commercial milk formula when a parent’s own milk is not available.”

Photo by: Sara D. Davis/
Source: United States Breastfeeding Committee (USBC)

This fall, the Access to Donor Milk Act (ADMA) was introduced in the House. ADMA would increase federal support for nonprofit milk banks and access to donor milk for medically-vulnerable infants.

What’s more, the legislation would allow state agencies to use WIC funding to promote the need for donor milk, provide emergency capacity funding when there is a demand for donor milk,  create a donor milk awareness program, and require the secretary of HHS through the FDA to issue a rule clarifying the regulatory status of donor milk provided by nonprofit milk banks.

Stay tuned for how you can help support this legislation. For other legislative and policies opportunities that support healthy infant feeding, visit USBC’s Take Action page here.

To know is to do: retired nurse dedicates time to humanitarian aid in East Africa bringing awareness to the paradox of direness and vibrancy

Some days Susan Gold, RN, BSN, ACRN misses her ignorance. Since 2003, Gold has embarked on over 30 trips to various locations in East Africa where she teaches sexual and reproductive health and offers humanitarian aid.

Recalling one of her first visits to a clinic in Nairobi, Kenya, Gold describes a young mother, around 18-years-old, who arrived holding her severely malnourished infant against her breasts infected with such severe mastitis that her skin had split. This mother had been thrown out of her home for being HIV-positive and was breastfeeding and formula feeding her baby.

[Some background: Infant feeding has been complicated by the HIV epidemic. In the early 2000s, Gold explains that HIV-positive women were taught to formula feed to lower the risk of transmission to their babies, but with little to no access to clean water, babies were becoming severely ill. What’s more, in societies where breastfeeding is the norm, exclusive formula feeding is often an indication of one’s HIV status, which remains highly stigmatized. And formula is expensive, so many mothers choose mixed feeding, increasing the rate of HIV transmission, because formula irritates the GI system and gives the virus a pathway. By 2010, WHO issued new recommendations that stated that all mothers who tested positive should receive effective antiretroviral treatment (ART) which could lower risk of transmission during exclusive breastfeeding to virtually zero. In 2016, WHO extended the recommended duration of breastfeeding for HIV-positive mothers to 24 months. Effectiveness is dependent on consistency though, and Gold explains that mothers can develop resistance because there isn’t always access to ART.]

Gold was able to give the mother antibiotics, but the care that she and her infant required was beyond what Gold could offer. Considering the dyad’s condition and Gold’s limited resources, she says she’s certain that they died.

Reflecting on the suffering she witnessed and lives lost, that’s when Gold misses her ignorance most, but she says, “To know is to do.”

“For me it’s not a news story I can ignore, it’s names and faces,” she remarks.

In 2007, Gold received a Fulbright Grant to evaluate a reproductive health curriculum for HIV-positive adolescents. In 2017, she was awarded a Mandela Washington Fellowship Reciprocal Exchange Award to collaborate with Sicily Mburu, a Kenyan physician who co-founded AIDS No More. [Read more: https://ghi.wisc.edu/talking-health-out-loud-how-volunteering-led-to-life-saving-strategies-for-teens/]

Most recently, Gold spent several weeks in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania on a Nelson Mandela Fellowship Reciprocal Exchange Fellowship Grant where she partnered with Dr. Omari Mahiza, a pediatrician at Amana Regional Referral Hospital, focusing their efforts on combating pediatric malnutrition and education on family planning.

 

Shattering stereotypes 

Gold has found that most Americans hold a “shallow view” of the continent. Her frustration with the stereotypes associated with Africa runs deep.

“It’s either starving children or a safari,” she begins. “It’s so painful for me to see that displayed so many times. There is such a tendency [in America] to dehumanize people who are not like us… We set ourselves as the standard. Their culture is not a failed attempt to be our culture. Success doesn’t have to look like us or be measured against us.”

Alongside her humanitarian work, Gold hopes to shatter the stereotypes, to bring awareness to the paradox of direness and vibrancy in East Africa.

Gold reminisces: “I love the African sun on my face, the bright colors and motion, the culture that is built around the family and friends, that you’re never expected to do it alone, the  generosity of spirit,  the sounds and smells, the warm welcomes and the optimism.”

Acutely aware of “an inherent imbalance of power” and the concept of White Saviorism, Gold uses the Swahili term Tuko sawa, which means “We are all the same”, as the foundation of her work.

We all want healthy children and families and a future with opportunities to provide long, healthy, prosperous lives, she expounds.

Beyond this core belief, Gold says that she always develops relationships with the people she works with.

“I educate myself on the origins and current status of their culture. I don’t tell people what to do, I share my experiences and expertise. I always learn from them.”

 

Doing more with less 

Ingenuity is something she’s gathered from working alongside East Africans.

For instance, Gold was struck by the engineering of incubators for very sick babies at  St. Joseph’s Hospital in Moshi, Tanzania.

If there is electricity, she explains, the heat is controlled by the number of light bulbs lit. The wood absorbs the heat, the aluminum components absorb and reflect heat, the mattress absorbs heat but also protects the baby, and the lid retains the heat but allows for monitoring of the baby. Mosquito netting is fashioned around the system.

Gold notes that Kangaroo Mother Care (KMC) is practiced for almost all premature babies, but it’s not common among sick babies. [Read about skin-to-skin efforts just north of Tanzania here:  https://www.ourmilkyway.org/skin-skin-gulu-uganda/]

 

Hunger: hidden and stark 

A recent Lancet Global Health Publication, Revealing the prevalence of “hidden hunger”, released estimates of two billion people worldwide with one or more micronutrient deficiencies, noting that this is a gross underestimate. The hunger and deficiencies that Gold and her colleagues witness are rarely hidden and often quite obvious.

A severely malnourished child holds onto one of the toy cars that Gold collects and brings for the children at the clinics.

Breastfeeding is important in the prevention of different forms of childhood malnutrition, including wasting, stunting, over/underweight and micronutrient deficiencies. Tanzania scores quite high in the World Breastfeeding Trends Initiative (WBTi) World Ranking.

Gold observes that all of the women breastfeed in the low-income neighborhoods she visits.

The struggle, she says, is getting enough nutrition for the women to sustain milk production and have energy to feed their babies. During her most recent visit, Gold reports that almost none of the 35 families had food in the home.

Reporters of the new estimates for micronutrient malnutrition point out that processed fortified foods and micronutrient powders can be an easy answer to hunger, but they don’t create sustainability of local and indigenous foods and create conflict of interest issues with industry.

Gold adds that low income community members can’t afford to buy industry developed foods consistently. Lack of access to clean water is also a barrier.

“And you can’t depend on outside groups to sustain you,” she continues.

“We didn’t see any processed food at all because there is no market for it,” Gold says of visiting seven different neighborhoods in the low income region of Dar es Salaam. Instead, small markets with locally-grown fruits and vegetables prevail, but access to protein is a challenge.

As medically indicated, ready-to-use therapeutic food (RUTF) packets of fortified peanut butter issued by UNICEF are given out through health clinics. But Gold notes that sometimes parents sell these packets for money.

 

A challenge but not insurmountable 

North of Dar es Salaam, in Moshi, Gold brings a portable printer that doesn’t require Wifi to the small hospital where she volunteers. She gifts each postpartum mother a printed 4×6 photo of herself and her baby.

“You don’t know how many of these babies are going to survive due to the high infant mortality rate.”

There’s a long moment of silence between us on the video call.

Then Gold expresses her frustration and anger,  “The world can fix this, but chooses not to.”

She urges us to educate ourselves and others. Vote for people who have a vision of the world as one world, she says.

Last month, the President signed into law H.R. 4693, the “Global Malnutrition Prevention and Treatment Act of 2021,” which authorizes the United States Agency for International Development to undertake efforts to prevent and treat malnutrition globally.

For those interested in making financial contributions or donations like baby clothes, children’s  books, or toy cars, email Gold at talkinghealthoutloud@gmail.com.

Follow Gold’s organization Talking Health Out Loud on Facebook here.

For an interesting discussion on Numeracy Bias, check out this episode of Hidden Brain. Numeracy bias is described this way: “…When you see one person suffering, you feel like, ‘Oh, I can do something for that person.’ But when you hear that a whole country has a refugee crisis, you tend not to get involved because you feel like, ‘Well, this is overwhelming. I don’t think I can do anything about this, so I’m not going to engage.’…It turns out that people who have experienced a high level of lifetime adversity are immune to this bias.”

 

Other resources

Micronutrient Deficiencies

UNICEF Child Food Poverty

UNICEF No Time to Waste

UNICEF Fed to Fail

Both/and– exploring the ambiguous in maternal child health

Near the Amtrak Station in Milwaukee, there used to be an encampment created by people without housing. It went by the moniker “Tent City”. My kids and I used to pass by it often; and they had a lot of questions about the space and the people who stayed there.

I remember doing my best to explain homelessness to them. I attempted to answer their curiosities by posing questions back to them, to get a feel for what they understood. The conversation quickly led me to share what I know about mental health, drug and alcohol addiction, systemic racism, morality. I glanced into the rear-view mirror to find my young children, their mouths agape, eyebrows furrowed. I realized that what I had presented them with was like turning on the hose full-force and blasting them with a spray of freezing water.

This has always been a challenge for me as a parent, trying to help my kids understand the world we live in in a developmentally appropriate, honest way. As part of the Euro-American ethnic group, our logic system/ ontology (the nature of reality) is guided by standardization, codification and uniformity; it is fundamentally binary, as laid out in Dr. Edwin Nichols’ Model for the Philosophical Aspects of Culture. [Full lecture here: https://dmr.bsu.edu/digital/collection/CAPLectures/id/216]

Of course this framework confines us to a worldview shaped by the binary. Much of what I’ve come to understand about the human experience has been through the lens of maternal child health where very little, if not nothing is ‘black and white’.

That’s what I’m here to explore this week on Our Milky Way. In a way, these nuances remind me of ambiguous images or reversible figures where one individual may see one image and another makes out something totally different. For example, the German cartoon that asks, “Which animals are most like each other?” The answer is “rabbit and duck.”

Breastfeeding itself is a “rabbit and duck”.

“Breastfeeding refutes the cultural bent that breast’s primary function is as sex objects,” Chantal Molnar writes in Breastfeeding and Feminism.  “America has an uneasy relationship with breastfeeding and has a hard time facing the duality inherent in breast’s function. Sex versus nurture, or sex and nurture? We don’t seem to have any problem with the duality of our mouths, which can be for sex and for eating. We do not make people cover their heads with a blanket when they are eating in public simply because the mouth is frequently used sexually.”

Similarly, Iris Marion Young writes in Breasted Experience that breasts are “a scandal for patriarchy because they disrupt the border between motherhood and sexuality, between love and desire.”

When Dr. Ricardo Herbert Jones, an advocate for the humanization of childbirth, spoke at the International Breastfeeding Conference several years back, he told this anecdote: An email was sent out to friends and colleagues with an image of a woman, but delayed loading revealed only portions of the woman– first her head, neck and shoulders. Her expression, most would have assumed she was amidst a sexual experience, but when the remainder of the image loaded, it showed the woman was giving birth.

Photo by Timothy Meinberg on Unsplash

A month after this conference, I was pregnant with my second child. Iris was born at home in the water, and I experienced an entanglement of intensity, euphoria, and empowerment, much like what was captured on the woman’s face in Dr. Jones’s anecdote. The sacred experience of birth is impossibly described as “either or”; instead birth is “both and.”

In Euro-American culture, the leap from what we have been accustomed to accept as normal birth– feet in stirrups, supine in a hospital bed, bellowing in agony (or not because of an epidural)– to euphoric birth, is almost inconceivable.

Kajsa Brimdyr has taken on the challenge of bridging this polarization and shows what is possible is her film Happy Birth Day.

Another instance of “both and” shows up in Reply All’s Into the Depths episode which covers Oriana R. Aragón’s, et al Dimorphous Expressions of Positive Emotion: Displays of Both Care and Aggression in Response to Cute Stimuli.

The term “cute aggression” refers to the urge some people feel to squeeze or bite cute things, “albeit without desire to cause harm.” It can be categorized as dimorphous expression which “refers to someone experiencing a strong emotion of one type (e.g., happy or sad) but expressing the opposite emotion.” [Stavropoulos, et al]

Photo by Igor Rodrigues on Unsplash

Here’s an excerpt from the Reply All episode [full transcript here]:

Aragón started studying cute aggression in the lab — she brought in volunteers…

ORIANA: And I hopped them up on baby photos. [laughing] And then I- I know, it was actually really fun to run.

She showed people photos of animal babies, human babies, human babies Photoshopped to make them extra cute– 

ORIANA: Large foreheads, big eyes, small mouths, big cheeks.

And then she measured how people responded with brain scans, questionnaires, and even bubble wrap — like, how many bubbles does a person pop when they see a computer-manipulated super cute baby?

And she’s convinced that not only is cute aggression real, but it actually serves a useful function for people like Marie who tend to get all can’t-breathe-can’t-think-conked-out by cuteness. 

ORIANA: The people who were like, “Err, you know, I want to pinch it”, those people come back down off that baby high [laughs], you know, faster than the people who didn’t.

SANYA: Just having that aggression helps you come down off the baby high.

Photo by Nihal Karkala on Unsplash

ORIANA: Yes, yeah, exactly. 

“Baby high.” People – get ripped – on baby. That is weird to me; and it gets even weirder. Oriana said that sometimes a “baby high” makes the brain produce another contradictory-seeming emotion: “cute sadness.”

ORIANA: The corners of their mouth will go completely down and they’ll go, “Oooh” [SANYA: Oh yeah!] like they’re, like, so sad. [SANYA: Right.] And even their forehead wrinkles. Like, it was just like they saw the most horrible thing, so if you snapshot that and show it to people and you say, “What are they feeling?” they’re like, “Oh they’re overwhelmingly sad right now, and it’s like, “No they saw a cute baby.” 

Okay so at this point I’m lowkey spiraling, because, like duh, of course I’ve seen people do cute sadness – even done it myself – but I didn’t realize that it’s supposed to be an involuntary reflex.

I thought we were all doing it on purpose. You know, making a conscious choice to communicate, “Yes, I see and acknowledge that your baby is, in fact, cute.”

Oriana is saying no, no, no — for other people it’s happening involuntarily; their brains are trying to emotionally regulate, because they literally cannot function due to the cuteness. And even though it seems like cute aggression and cute sadness are just random levers that the brain is panic-pulling, Oriana thinks that each of them is actually signaling something distinct to whoever is observing.

So imagine you’re walking down the street with something conventionally cute, like, I don’t know, a human baby, and someone comes up and smiles.

ORIANA: I know that there’s positivity within their smile, and that they’re probably going to treat my baby well and there’s a really nice social signal.

But cute aggression and cute sadness are better signals. Let’s say someone comes up and they’re all like, “Oh my god, I just wanna pinch your baby’s chubby little cheeks!”

ORIANA: That’s giving extra information that they want to be extra sort of playful and rev that baby up, and they want to sort of roughhouse with my baby.

Photo by __ drz __ on Unsplash

Which, maybe you’re like, “No thanks, it’s not rev up time, it’s actually nap time.” But if someone comes up and they’re like, “Awwww what a cute baby”, in kind of a sad way, they like your baby too but they’re calmer and they’re probably aren’t going to mess up the nap.

ORIANA: You just wanna see it and sort of marinate in the cuteness [laughs]. And that’s what our research shows. And so it might be the reason why it’s been evolutionarily preserved because it’s just a really good signal. A smile doesn’t deliver the extra information of how you’ll interact with the baby.

SANYA: The smile is actually the poker face in all these instances.

ORIANA: Yeah, exactly, yeah, it’s giving less information.

So, cute aggression, says Oriana — it’s a societal glue, a communication tool.

We want to know where “both and” shows up in your perinatal experiences. Email us your stories at info@ourmilkyway.org.